Coming Home

coming home I’m coming home this summer from the 12th of June to the 3rd of July. After my three-week relaxation in the states I will get on an airplane and fly back to Kyrgyzstan for the last six months of my service. I’m flying into Dulles in Washington and think I’ll spend a few days there seeing all my friends before going home; that is, back to Roanoke. It gets confusing when you have one home in the states and one on the other side of the world. While at home I plan on taking it easy, visiting friends and family and going to Sandy Valley and the farm a number of times. If you’re a friend living in the area and want me to come and see you I may, but only under extreme circumstances. If you call I’ll bitch and whine and moan to you about coming all the way from Kyrgyzstan and then having to go ALL THE WAY ACROSS TOWN just to see you! Remember, once I’m in America I’m a lazy American once again! I can hardly wait! So you come and see me. Sorry to be blunt about it but if you eat sheep’s eyes and livers for nigh on two years you’ll understand.

flight times if anyone in Washington wants to meet me at the airport (besides my slightly boring family) I would love it. Just don’t tell me that you’re going to do it because that will ruin the surprise. I’m all about surprises. I’ll be leaving Bishkek on the 12th of June at 6:35 AM. A short stop for tea and crumpets (if anyone knows what the hell a crumpet is please let me know) in Merry Ole England and then on to America. I’ll pretend that I’m coming to America like Colombus did. That should make my flight much more fun. I’ll also pretend I’m on a boat instead of a plane. That shouldn’t be hard to do. If I step of the airplane wearing a 15th century Spanish hat and bloomers don’t be alarmed. I will finally set foot on American soil once again on the June 12th at 10:30 at night. Remember to be at the airport two hours before I arrive to start blowing up the balloons and tying the streamers. Tell the clown to get all his makeup on and practice.

about our marble Does anyone know which way the globe turns? Clockwise or counter-clockwise? There are two big clues that I have discovered upon my arrival in Kyrgyzstan. Do you know what they are? One is in the time difference between here (Kyrgyzstan) and there (the states). We are ten or eleven hours ahead of you depending on what day of the year it is. The reason for this is that we scrapped daylight savings time a year ago. So now when you go on daylight savings and your time moves back an hour we stay the same; chronologically speaking. Because America is ten (or eleven) hours behind Kyrgyzstan that means that the sun reaches us first (ha ha) but this does not fully explain which direction our marble rolls. At least it doesn’t to me. To accomplish this one has to look at flight times. A flight from Bishkek to Washington takes x amount of hours (I’m not a math major) while a flight from Washington to Bishkek takes more than x hours. The flight from Washington to Bishkek, rather than from Bishkek to Washington, takes longer. If we assume that the airplane is traveling at the same speed in the same flight path then what does that tell us? Much like running while standing on a ball (which, I hear, is very hard to do) it tells us that our planet is moving in the counter-clockwise direction when viewed from the north pole.* If anyone would like to become a contestant on Jeopardy now would be the time.


* If anyone cares to disprove this theory be my guest. I’m probably wrong.